Don't Bother Telling Me Off

Okay, yes, I know I'm a terrible person and I totally missed the deadline for this month's FAQ. I have a good reason though, well maybe. I spent most of that time being dead, or at least as close to it. I had just barely manged to escape that and then Valentine's day came around and I know it still won't get me anywhere with you guys but I'm sorry.

I am however not going to give up on it. Instead I am going to do what I should have done in the first place. I am going to open the deadline three days before the first (in this case the 27th) and I will start my first answer on the 1st of the month. So five days from today I will open up for questions so make them good

I'm not dodging questions now,
- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:
Everything I Ask For - The Maine

Quick To Deny (Part Five)

Well that's enough answering questions this go around, I think I will figure out a points system that actually makes sense for the sake of my entertainment but don't expect it getting to you so easily. I'll see what happens for next month and hopefully we can continue the FAQs. I will get back to you guys soon but in the meantime entertain yourselves with this.

What is the most important lesson you have learned?

I think that lessons are learned over time so what might be the most important lesson to me today might not even be relevant tomorrow. I think the most important lesson that holds true for everyone is that nothing good can last forever. I have spent a very long time trying to get through life and every time something good comes along I wish that it could last me for eternity, but I know that it will not last. It is a devastating concept but one that we all must grasp in order to continue living. It is never a good thing to get stuck in the past and as soon as something happens it becomes part of the past so we have to move on. I have never been the bearer of good news but I like to say that it could always be worse.

The roller coaster of life is usually a slope of good times followed by a slump but you always have to hope that you will get back up sooner. When bad things happen to me I complain but I have no choice but to look forward to better things happening in the future. Because of this I spend most of my time trying to enjoy the present instead of think about the future. The future may never come and no one is certain that they will live through the day so in the meantime you have to enjoy the little moments of happiness and deal with the disappointments of sadness.

Nothing can last as long as we want it to, so for now the best lesson that we can keep in mind is that it is probably best to just enjoy the little things that surround us when they are right in front of us and hope that we can get through life without as many slumps and more favorable experiences to keep us from hating life. Considering life’s unpredictability this is probably the best outcome that we can hope for.

Life is full of little lessons,

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

Today's Lesson - AFI

Quick To Deny (Part Four)

Does everyone expect me to die pretty soon or something? That's sure what it seems like since I always get questions about death. Anyway this was one of those questions that I just did not really know how to answer.

What is one thing you have not done but really want to do?

Besides getting to participate on Fear Factor (which I thank all of you for offering to do it with me) and flying to Pluto (you know you want to do it too) there are only so many things that I have not done that actually appeal to me and make me really want to do them. I have had the best opportunity to do many things and even with the recent craziness I have been able to do new things and exciting things that many do not get a chance to do in their lifetimes. I guess that one thing I have not done yet but am probably going to do at some point just to get it over with is go to Walden Pond and read Walden. I have always been a fan of Thoreau and it seems like something I would enjoy to do.

The only reason I have not done it is because I always thought I want to be on a boat or something and drift out to the middle of the lake where no one can bug me. Is that really possible in a tourist attraction? Probably not but I hope that one day I can buy out the lake and spend the entire day by myself. I do not think I would even invite other people I know just because they would probably annoy me even more than the strangers. Still considering I have never been to Walden Pond it would be fun to walk around and then read the book. I do not know when this will happen with my busy schedule that barely allows me time to see anyone other than the person I am working with at the time. I probably should have done it while I was lost. That would have been the perfect time but I do not know when (more like if) I will get the chance to do this. Still it is number one on my list of things to do before I die.

Rowboats are useful for something,

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple

Quick To Deny (Part Three)

I do not have much to say but I think that we need to have an points competition since there are many things that people just can not seem to guess or even know about.

What do you do for fun?

Well by whose definition of fun are we going by? I am thinking you mean enjoyable time doing something interesting so I hope that is what you all mean. I love listening to music. I listen to everything so for fun I think concerts are some of the most fun things to go to. Seeing some of my favorite bands on stage has always been interesting. Unfortunately it is not as easy as one would think to go to all these concerts so I have to find other things to do. Traveling is fun for me, getting to see all these places and maybe even catch a bit of local activities. Museums are places I go for fun (although thanks to Jareth this is getting questionable) and exhibits in many subjects are awesome. I recently went to a rodeo which was interesting and fun to watch although I have never considered myself as a fan of animals it is still fun.

I am not that much into TV and movies but sometimes when I like to unwind it is not that bad. I like shows, mostly car and gun shows, so whenever I see one I will go and stare at them for a while and maybe even buy things. I guess I like to do many things for fun and it really does not matter what it is because most likely I will get into it. I recently have been watching a show the kids in my dorm have been watching which I now threw into my definition of fun shows I almost want to do (points for guessing the show). I would love to do Fear Factor (I already watched Fear Factor before I got here so that is not it) for fun too although that is probably not going to happen. If only I could get a volunteer to do it with me. Looking back at what I wrote it seems that I like watching more than doing things which I guess is true.

I'll figure out the points thing soon,

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

Viva La Vida - Coldplay

Quick To Deny (Part Two)

Well after that short intermission I am back to what you want to hear. I like this question because it makes little sense to have expectations for something you can not control. I think there should be better things to have expectations for.

How has life been different than what you have expected?

Well I barely remember what I expected when I was younger and I am sure I did not have a set plan for every year of my life. I can only say that of all the things that have happened in the last few years I only expected a few of them. I expected a title for when I was older, definitely not now or even any time soon. I thought I would have a couple years to do what I want and then get to the point of responsibilities. So life has cheated me these last few years with that. I never thought I would be married at this point, I never thought of myself as the married type but here I am. Being in danger with such uncommon frequency was never a plan for me in the past but I am starting to expect it for the future. Not all the differences have to be bad though, I never thought I would be able to keep such great friends for such a long period of time. Then there’s all my recent friends who I hope will turn out to last me as well. We have to look at all the positive moments so that’s what I’m trying to do.

If there’s something to say about life in general that I never expected was the insane growth of technology. A little over five years ago I was being all trendy with a RAZR phone (points if you remember this phone still) (more points if you have seen someone with one in the last year) (even more points if you still have one) because it was supposedly the coolest and most expensive cell phone and now everything is all touch screen and the battle between the iPhone and Android is what everyone wants. Ten years ago the coolest cell phones were the size of a brick and were pretty much useless, why can’t we have that now? Although I am grateful for the invention of the iPhone.

I should have written this on a typewriter,

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

Modern Epidemic - AFI

337 Posts Done, 337 Million To Go

This post is not continuing my FAQ responses but rather it is a special note. I never thought I would get to this point, certainly not when I started the blog to vent about the random things that I thought were too trivial to talk to one person. Yet somehow it has been almost five years and I still have readers which is even more surprising.

Anyway this is a special post to celebrate the 337th post that I make to this blog. I know sometimes I don’t post often and even leave the blog alone for months but for something I did not really expect to keep I think I have done really well in keeping it alive. The good thing is that it is still a place where I can share a (vague) inside to some of the crazy things that go on in my life. In that time I have received all kinds of messages but I know that people who know of me at least know I am honest.

Most people at one point or another have wondered why 337 is such a special number to me and besides the obvious I ca not give too specific a reason other than it is just something that has come to play in my life and I appreciate it for having helped me get through some situations that otherwise would have been devastating. I know that doesn’t answer the question but if you are curious then the answer is Clandestine, or rather what comes after… I spent too much time trying to wrap my head around it so I would not get too much into it if I were you.

So take my word on it and focus more on your own life. I have been waiting to write my 337^th post for a while so my only regret is that I did not get to this point sooner. Well I have to get back to answering the rest of the FAQs.

Until tomorrow,

- BlackFireMyth -

Quick To Deny (Part One)

Despite the insanity I did take my time to answer these questions, I really liked the creativity on all the ones I got but only five can be answered so we start with the first one today. The title of them comes once again from my favorite subject line and one that almost fits into my theme of answers. I hope you figure it out but if you don't that's okay too since guessing is not my strong suit either. Also since I'm in London now I was trying to get it within the day limit but then I realized that the time of the blog is set in Denver so I had more time, oh well I'll remember that for next time.

If you could relive any moment in your life what would it be?

I assume I can only pick one or else I would just pick a lot of random moments. I remember a time when I was younger that I was with a guy that I absolutely adored. In fact we were supposed to get married but something got in our way of that. If I could relive the moment and be able to change it, which for the sake of this response I am going to say I can, then I would go back to that day when we got torn apart. Looking from the future I know that would save me from a lot of pain in the long run. It was not a good moment but if the event could be prevented then I could deal with reliving it for a while. Although if it wasn’t for that and all the insanity that happened because of it I probably would not have met Jareth so that’s a downfall. So I don’t know if I really want to fix that anymore.

If I can’t change that moment than there is no way I would want to go back to that day. I would then probably pick the day I spent an entire afternoon with a guy that I had admired for years. He really is a great person and I had spent the entire time just hanging off his every word. A repeat of that would be nice although I still have his words stuck in my head. I probably should have played it cooler but I was more of a fan girl at the time. For the sake of listening to him again I don’t mind reliving the embarrassment. There are so many great moments and sometimes I wish I had a time machine to fix mistakes and relive those awesome moments but all those things come with a price that we are better without. I think that our ability to relive moments through memories should be good enough for most of these kinds of things.

Time traveling is too tricky,

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down

I Think I Know This

Yes, I know I'm a little late on this post but the deadline is in fact open. The rules are the same so I'm not going to explain much but I am answering on Friday the 13th.

So have fun people...
- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:
Lasciati - Subsonica

Happy New Year

Well it's been a while since my last post but we probably already knew that my writing streak wouldn't last. Anyway I hope everyone had a great time in the holiday season. I know that I had a particularly enjoyable Christmas with family and friends and had a very interesting new year's as well. It's now officially 2012 and the forthcoming end of the world. I certainly had a jump start to the year starting with a new job that I got. As if I didn't have enough insanity to deal with nowadays.

The good thing is that not many people are going to bug me about this new thing I have going on since no one will know. It gets to be my own little secret. I know I'm being kind of mean by not telling all of you, but I can assure you it is not without reason. I really wish I could say everything openly but there are matters to be concerned with. So for now don't fret about the little details as everything will happen on it's own time.

In other news I am almost headed back to school again. Granted its not going to be for as long as my last attempts it will certainly be interesting. I have also developed an insane fascination with something that I am also not going to reveal. Somethings are best left unsaid. As a random side note I'm thinking of doing some more crazy things in the near future.

So basically if you wanted to skip this entire post you totally could have seeing as I didn't really write anything in much detail or of much importance. In reality it's just a post to say something and make people mad. I am however ready to open up the new FAQ session that starts next week.

Good luck understanding any of this,
- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:
La Funzione by Subsonica
(You should really listen to this song, it's fun)

Brutal Interrogation (Part Five)

I was surprised by some of the answers since I don't think I'm even close to some of them. On the other hand no one guessed correctly so maybe if you all get together you can cross off what it's not. Maybe I'm just a mystery but that's what these FAQs are for. Anyway here's the last question of the month. The clock will remain for the next deadline when I open up for questions again. This question was a combination of the questions so I tried to answer everything at once.

You have approximately one month to live, who do you tell, what would you do, and would you be afraid of death?

If I had one month to live and I knew this for a fact I don’t think I would tell anyone. People are sure to figure it out eventually since I’m not sure I can keep myself together if I knew but I would try to make sure they didn’t find out so people would stop feeling awkward. It’s amazing what people do when they know someone is dying that I ask myself, why don’t we do that all the time? No one knows for sure when they are going to die so how can we be sure if we’ll ever see the person we just said goodbye to? As for what I would do, I already live my life with the consciousness that it might be my last so I don’t think that would change too much. I am more curious than afraid of what death holds so if I knew the exact day I was going to die I would be more disappointed that it wasn’t a mystery. I guess that also depends on what I’m going to die of too. If it’s something boring I might just be inclined to try and go out with a bang.

Boom!

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

The Day I Die - Good Charlotte

Brutal Interrogation (Part Four)

In the spirit of relativity I have to answer a quick question before the main one that I've been getting. The songs that I listen to always have to go with the posts because I listen to them while writing. If I'm writing about promises I should listen to a song about a promise to get in the mood. For today, I'm listening to music about music (kinda).

Is there a song/book/movie that you feel accurately describes your life and why?

This is a tough question with just one media type so I’m going to give a couple of examples. In song I have had a song stuck in my head for over ten years. It always comes back when I’m thinking about my life even though it doesn’t necessarily reflect my life it does reflect part of my views. So if you get a chance to listen to “Clove Smoke Catharsis” you can get a little insight to what I think on occasions. There’s no one song that can describe my entire life but it gets close. A book about my life would have to be written by or about me in order to be accurate. I don’t think I can fully relate to most books considering my situation is strangely unique. So once again you need a whole array of books in pretty much every genre to make up my life. I do have a movie character that I almost feel has me down but I’m not exactly sure if that’s a good thing. I was watching a horror series that I’d never watched before and it had this character in it but I’ll leave the guessing to you.

1st correct email wins a prize,

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

Reiver's Music - AFI

Brutal Interrogation (Part Three)

I don't know whether or not to be insulted by this question. I'm optimistically going for no.

Can we truly expect you to keep your promises?

In the simplest terms I will always keep a promise. I know I have the doubters who say I can’t be trusted and that I’ll just say something and go back on my word later but I think that just comes with being me. I don’t think I have ever promised that many people things so how come people feel like I won’t keep a promise? I’m sure most of the people who doubt have never really met me either. How does someone judge someone else without having been introduced? People are mad because I don’t make a promise to them. They shouldn’t be because my philosophy is to avoid making promises. Also I never make a promise that I can’t or don’t think I can keep. This is what gives me the freedom to say I will keep my promise. So unless you specifically hear me say the words consider my words to be tentative and not a promise. Have I ever broken a promise? No doubt when I was little I would promise someone something that I would later go back on but as far as I remember I have always done my best to keep my promises.

Or maybe I should be...

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:

I'm Not Okay (I promise) - My Chemical Romance

Brutal Interrogation (Part Two)

So I took the rest of the questions and put them into a hat (actually it was a cookie jar but whatever) and this is my question of the day. I can't say I fully understand the meaning so I just had to make my own.

What is your nightmare scenario?

I’m not sure in what sense you mean for a nightmare scenario. Do you mean for me, the world, a group of people, or about a certain situation? That being said I’m going to assume you mean the worst possible situation that I can imagine. I’m not sure whether or not I should say something like this out loud (or in blogging as the case may be) because I always have bad luck and give credence to my ideas. So knock on wood but I always imagined that one day someone would risk the entire world’s existence by trying to save the world. I have never been sure why but I have always been more afraid of people trying to do things for good reasons than for evil. I almost think that they have a better chance of success but will at some point do something that will turn things for the worst. I’m not saying that it will happen but I know enough to not rule it out. Call me crazy but if change is going to occur, I’d rather it be from the bad guys over people who will do insane things to try and protect the world.

It also depends on the definition of nightmare I guess,

- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:
Highway to Hell - AC/DC

Brutal Interrogation (Part One)

Well the title is one of my favorite subject lines that I received (along with about a hundred questions) I think that the five questions I'm answering are all on that list. I spent the last five hours (I actually started yesterday but I still had to get through the last minute emails) going through an insane amount of emails and I started writing questions I saw more than once and put little checks next to them. The most accurate way to check the top five? Not really but I'm sure I was right.

Anyway this is going to be day one and the questions are not actually in order of how often they were asked (mostly because I didn't want to go through and count the number of checks next to them on my paper). So besides that let's get going with the first question which I never really expected to see so much.

Why is your definition of true happiness different than everyone else’s?

I’m not sure what everyone’s definition is since everyone has their own version. I personally measure my happiness based on other people’s happiness. Of course that doesn’t mean I’ll be happy because a random lady shopping in the same store is happy but I do like to see my friends be happy which in turn makes me feel better. True happiness is not something I feel like I can achieve in my own life at this moment. I’m not sure anyone can but I do have my moments that I feel like some form of happiness. I guess my definition is different in that I see the downside to everything so true happiness can’t possibly be achieved when I’m seeing the downside. You can have all the money, power, and love in the world (or even a “balanced” amount of each) and I can guarantee that there will be an emptiness that takes away from truly being completely happy (mostly because people always want more than what they have, even when they have it all). So do I think people can be happy? Yes, I know its possible but true happiness is still too far away from our insatiable natures.

What do you think of true happiness?
- BlackFireMyth -

Listening to:
Putting Holes in Happiness - Marilyn Manson

I Have A New Plan...

So I've been gone for a while but not as long as you'd expect. My lack of things to say has seen me shy away from most people lately and now I'm just comfortable being on my own. That being said I'm here. I have thought about my next posts and I am in fact opening up another FAQ for this month. So, people who've been curious, I'm leaving an opportunity to ask questions for this entire week. This time though, I'm going into the more detailed questions with lengthy answers.

So here's the rules for my new system of FAQs:
1. From the day I open the question time you have three days to send me any questions you have.
2. Emails should have an appropriate subject line so that I know you're asking me a question, I'm not into specifics though so feel free to come up with creative titles.
3. Try to send me all your questions in one email so that my inbox doesn't get crowded beyond what it already is.
4. After the deadline, I'm going to go through and find the most frequently asked questions (kind of the point of an FAQ) and answer the top five questions. Note that I may take a couple relevant questions and combine them. This will probably take a day to do so don't hold your breath that I'll answer the second after the deadline.
5. I will answer a question a day for the next five days and be as specific as I can be.

This is a new system but I think that it will work out better than our last go around and give the newcomers a chance to ask questions too. Also it's more interesting than a simple one sentence answer so take your time.

I'm placing a countdown timer on the blog so you know how long you have to submit a question so as soon as this post is done you have three days.

Have fun asking,
- BlackFireMyth -